Sunday, April 20, 2008

Daffodil Lament - The Cranberries

Daffodil Lament by The Cranberries


Holding on, that's what I do since I met you.
And it won't be long. Would you notice if I left you?
And it's fine for some 'cause you're not the one,
You're not the one there...
There... there... there... there... there...

All night long, laid on my pillow,
These things are wrong.
I can't sleep here!

So lovely, so lovely, so lovely.

I have decided to leave you forever.
I have decided to start things from here.
Thunder and lightning won't change,
What I'm feeling and the daffodils look lovely today,
And the daffodils look lovely today,
Look lovely today.

Ooh, in your eyes I can see the disguise.
Ooh, in your eyes I can see the dismay.
Has anyone seen lightning?
Has anyone looked lovely?
And the daffodils look lovely today,
And the daffodils look lovely today,
Look lovely today...

Look lovely, [X 9]
Na, na. Na, na na na...

Posted by Atlantic Amethyst at 2:18 PM

Monday, April 07, 2008

Big Brother Is Watching

U know there's this creepy feelin'.

That you know you're being 'monitored' regularly?
Read is okay, but not the feeling of being 'monitored' then later used as an emotive manipulative tool against myself. I have to be so strong all the time if not my soul would have been severely eroded by now.

Actually I'm goin' to delete off this blog soon. It's just a matter of when.

My other half is monitoring me so badly, it gets screwed up even more.

U sacrifice personal space, freedom of thought and happiness for a relationship. Many a time, I wonder whether love is a chore. Until lately, someone who was facing some relationship woes asked me the same question. I think when it's not compatible with our lives, then it becomes a chore. If not, how can love become a chore?

Lately I chanced upon this very insightful email about finding and keeping a life partner.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode asresentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace


BIG BROTHER IS WATCHIN U, layling.

Oh god.

Posted by Atlantic Amethyst at 7:17 PM

Staying Grounded

I realised something totally weirdd about myself.

If I do not choose to be constructive, I can never have the time to do anything. And yet when I choose to devote energy to pack my time constructively, I can achieve a whole lot more than I realise. Maybe time i.e. life is really how you make out of it?


Ivy made me realise this. Because she observed that I actually blogg more when supposedly I shouldn't have time to do so.


Actually if I don't blog more, I can't imagine what will happen. Perhaps talk to the objects in my room and get into Oscars. (Think Tony Leung in Chungking Express.) But one thing for sure, my roomie will freak out.


I'm always one big dilemma. I want to have time for myself and yet I cannot have too much time for myself. I need to stone abit here and there; but I get bored and listless so easily, I start to realise I need to channel my energy away by continuously keeping myself occupied with something, if not I'll ...... start to destroy the world. I usually appear very sedentary but looks are always so deceiving. I used to run 15km every week to channel all the excessive energy away. Maybe I should resume that routine soon.


Man, I'm missin' that adrenline badly.


And I did something really random just now. I sprayed my favourite Versace Bright Crystal on all my nike tops, just for fun. Finally had time to buy lah and I couldn't resist. The last drop from the previous bottle evaporated more than a month ago. I just didn't spray my entire room lest I freak my roomie out. (Shit. I always have this fear I'll somehow freak her out with my oddities esp after the mirror incident which Ivy knows so well.)


But hey! This is my fav daytime perfume, alright.
I'm luvin' it sooo much.
Way better than Anna Sui Secret Wish, DKNY and Escada series.
Don't believe, just come and smell me.
(Fabian once commented that this scent will knock off any guy when he passed by me outside can 5, while I was on the phone with my bf. Come to think of it, no wonder he lent me his Mitch Albom novel so readily.)
But this ad seriously just doesn't do it any justice.

I think she needs a haircut.
Really badly.
Just like me now.

Posted by Atlantic Amethyst at 3:49 AM

Saturday, April 05, 2008

SOS!

Woah I really feel so misunderstood all of a sudden.
Can't clear up another mess now.
Especially when pple are emo.
Maybe they also never realise they're being emo.
Or maybe my perception is skewwwwed coz i'm screwwwwwed.

Coz perception is really subjective - I think they're being emo but they think otherwise. It's difficult to communicate in good faith and trust when each think the other got problem?

For a fact, I cannot handle emo pple. Melvin thinks I'm a durian - from far looks dangerous; then open up already, realise it's quite nice. Using his line of thought, I think the person in question is a pong pong fruit lor. From far looks harmless, then open up realise it's poisonous! Then I guess everything piles up when the external environment gets harsher.

And I don't know what to do?
Avoid?

Can't also.
Ultimately the root is not addressed and will cause some other implications later.

Helppp. I don't mean anything.
Very, very sad now.
I just stepped on someone's toes.
Ordinarily speaking, I won't be so affected but this person, I respect him a lot even when nobody knows or nobody can tell. Actually it doesn't matter, as long as I know.

In short, everything hurts.
*CRY*

Posted by Atlantic Amethyst at 7:52 PM

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Affirmations


Not that I have excessive pride about myself. Just feelin' really touched to hear all these words again. Kinda need some affirmations from time to time. I tink my TAS lecturers really understand me the most. Thanks, Mr Gan and Mr Dillon Lee for your kind words always. I'll strive to elevate the status of our TAS Alumni Club within my limited capacity together with the rest of the committee members. Ivy and I miss TAS like hell.

Posted by Atlantic Amethyst at 7:01 PM

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

呼吸。呐喊。

好想歇斯底里呐喊一番。

已经好久未有这般的无奈。

仿佛天地间容纳不了内心的折腾，自身的枷锁让心灵窒息，而灵魂也蠢蠢欲动渴望着抛开太疲倦的肉身，寻找一片现实的天堂。

他说。。。

众里寻她千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在，灯火阑珊处。

试问:

你发现了吗？

Posted by Atlantic Amethyst at 8:21 PM